My trip to Guatemala

Precious Memories

I awake and search for him.
But my hands come up empty.
My mind steps out from the darkness and i remember that he is no longer with me.
And the pain and sadness comes to me again.
But with precious memories;
The first time I saw his face.
The first time I heard his voice.
The first call, the first text.
The first hug.
The day i held his hand.
Riding on the bus next to him, the blinding Guatemalan sun on our faces.
Walking around a city full of magic.
Resting my head on his shoulder.
Our silly pictures, every night on the phone.
Your goodbye and wondering when ill ever see your face again.
I miss you Pao. ILY!

Him; my Pao

His presence lingers all around me, around every inch of my life and i want him, i need him more than air. He is my light my only exit from this black hole. I need his voice i need his embrace to keep on living without him i will keep on falling lower and lower, i will lose my way, i need him to keep moving foward; just him always.

Far Far Away

I have no heart because i left it far away,
Along with all my smiles
And all my hapiness
I left everything behind
And i'm okay
I know that I am not alone,
for he is always here with me.
His laughter and all the great memories have stayed with me.
He is with me even if he is millions of miles away.
Im in his thoughts and he's in mine it's simple.
And because of that, i'm okay.

from dark to light and back again.

All of a sudden there is a blazing luminous side to this dark path im on. I see him and he looks back at me, He is my light. i am so tired of the haunting darkness and numbness of my lonely life, I am tired of being alone so i gather all my remaining strength and run for to him but i cant seem to reach him. But he waits, he waits for me to find my way to him. He is the only person that can take me out of this misery he is the only one that can make me whole again.

The Surface

Unconsciousness did not fully take over me tonight. My head stayed at the surface of the darkened pool, trying to obtain enough oxygen to keep my pulse going. I could not drown or ignore the excruciating pain. My head supplied my mind with every mistake and every deception through out my life and all my destroyed dreams and i couldn't take it. ''Unconsciousness take me for there is no worser pain than this.''